Expert advice on Grandparents’ Day

This Grandparents’ Day (October 27), Triple P – Positive Parenting Program experts are highlighting the important role grandparents, grand-friends, and kin can play in building happy, resilient families, but urge they also need to take care of their own wellbeing.

Triple P International Head of Training Dr Alan Ralph says grandparents who are involved in caring for grandchildren can experience positive health and wellbeing outcomes, have a joyful experience, and be filled with opportunities to nurture, support and build lasting connections with grandchildren and adult children.

“However, while there are advantages to playing an active role, grandparenting can also be stressful, impacting wellbeing and possibly relationships within the family,” Dr Ralph says.

“Family disruptions, pressure, and economic hardships are seeing grandparents step into more involved caregiver roles for grandchildren. In Australia, around 60,000 grandparents are the primary caregivers for their grandchildren, which can pose unique challenges.

“Studies have recognised that grandparent caregivers can experience increased stress, anxiety or depression related to their caregiving role, which can then have a ripple effect on those around them.

“Children pick up on a lot more than we might think and one of those things is our own stress and anxiety. So, it’s important to find ways to look after your wellbeing while supporting adult children and building healthy relationships with grandchildren.”

Here are some simple ways for those in grandparent relationships to recognise and reduce tension:

• listen to your body and recognise signs of stress – such as headaches, bad sleep, and irritability

• work out what factors cause you stress and see if you can address them by making lifestyle changes

• have an open and honest conversation about your role and expectations as a grandparent. Establishing positive communication can help reduce stress and build a strong parenting team

• If distance is a challenge, you can still build bonds remotely by scheduling regular video or phone chats to catch-up on their day, read books together, sing songs or help with homework

• set boundaries and expectations early on to help avoid any misunderstandings.

Lionel Armitstead, grandfather of seven grandchildren under seven years old, knows firsthand the challenges the childcare role can bring, but also the joys of being a grandparent.

“Grandparenting is fun, and we love looking after our grandchildren, but it can be tiring and testing at times,” Lionel says.

“It keeps you young and active, and it is great to see them develop their own personality.

"As a grandparent, it helps to keep fit so you can keep up with them. Activities don't have to be strenuous with the younger grandchildren. Just walking the dog, kicking a ball, playing silly games or more crafty activities, and they vary for each grandchild.”

In terms of being on the same parenting page, Lionel has this advice: "I find that it is important to be consistent with the parents, sometimes even being the parents’ mentor, so the grandchildren get similar messages."

Delivery of the Triple P – Positive Parenting Program to parents and carers of children in Australia is supported by funding from the Federal Department of Health and Aged Care under the Parenting Education and Support Program. Parents and carers (including grandparents) can access free, online parenting support 24/7 at triplep-parenting.net.au