Valentine’s Day: Top tips for lasting love

Eris and Russell Platt met and fell in love in a time when traditional gender roles were rigidly observed.

Back then ‘dating’ was known as ‘courting’, parental approval was a must, and letter writing was a sure-fire way to win a lady’s heart. It might sound like hard work to some.

But five decades later they are still going strong, with a lifetime of relationship experience that the younger generations can only dream of clocking up.

To celebrate Valentine’s Day, the residents have put together a list of ‘dos and don’ts’ to help teach millennials and Gen Zers a thing or two about first-date etiquette and the secrets to everlasting love.

Part of the “silent generation” – born between 1928 and 1945 – this demographic is best known for its traditional values.

Eris and Russell are no exception.

The couple, who live at Reside’s Samford Grove village, have two daughters and have been married 52 years, after meeting and falling in love while working as public servants.

Russell had just come out of the Army following National Service and was on the front counter at the Department of Finance. Eris worked at the Department of Interior.

They often advise their grandchildren – Clary, 17, Hazel, 15, and Maggie, 13 – on how to best present themselves on the dating scene.

“I tell the girls not to be ladylike and respectful of themselves and to watch what they’re wearing because it gives the wrong impression,” says Eris, 74.

“Unfortunately, I think social media is spoiling the whole dating game. Young people today have no privacy because everything is on the internet, and I feel sorry for them. I feel as though chivalry has been lost now.”

Russell, 79, believes youngsters need to put their phones down and treat women with respect.

“It frightens me because I think how it would have been back in our day if everyone had a phone in their pocket to take a picture all the time – it stifles people from being their authentic selves,” he says.

“When I first met Eris, she was an absolutely beautiful lady and I told her so. I asked her out in 1968 and we went with a group of friends to a ball at Cloudland.

"Unfortunately, you can’t seem to go up to a woman today and tell her she looks beautiful.

“I’ve said to Clary, if you take a girl out you have to respect her and look after her – don't try to be a smarty pants and get drunk and make a fool of her.”

For the Platts, the secrets to a happy marriage include trust, laughter and the ability to move on from an argument rather than holding a grudge.

“Sometimes you just have to suck it up and move on,” Eris says.

Russell agrees.

“We just get over stuff,” he says.

“Trust your partner, be happy, do not take yourself seriously. From the day we were married, music was always played at our house and it still is. We still go to see bands and sing songs.

“We also have a few glasses of wine together most nights. Someone once told me he had observed that couples who drink together stay together so that must be it!”

Reside CEO Glen Brown says stories such as Eris and Russell’s reflected the deep sense of connection and commitment that Reside Communities celebrates.

“At Reside, we feel privileged to be part of these couples’ ongoing love stories,” he said.

“Their advice is a reminder that relationships take patience and dedication, but the rewards are lifelong.

“There’s something special about hearing firsthand how they’ve made it work for decades.”

Top tips for everlasting love

• Dress sensibly and smartly
• Be ladylike
• Always enjoy a drink together
• Be a gentleman
• Don’t run before you can walk
• Work on your relationship
• Trust each other
• Don’t hold a grudge
• Don’t argue
• Never say, “I told you so!”
• Go dancing together
• Don’t take yourself seriously
• Don’t try to be a smarty pants
• Put your phone down and have a conversation
• Sometimes you have to “suck it up” and move on